Saying goodbye has always been hard for me. It’s always been that way my whole life. To let go is a right of passage and even though I’m letting go of a home which was never mine, it’s just making me sad. I guess it’s the final part of an era in my Aunts’ lives and it’s breaking my heart.
I can’t figure out why I am so sad for honestly I am so very happy that the closing is scheduled and we have successfully gotten it into selling condition after all that we had to do. But there’s a small part of me which can’t stop crying for the bereft feeling inside that I can’t label.
I wrote this a few weeks ago and simply couldn’t post it. I was intensely sad to let go of an era ~ not so much for me, but for my family. But now it’s a few weeks later and I’ve got some clarity. Isn’t that always the way ~ get into the observer mode in your life, let a little time pass and voila, you understand all the tears, you can deal with the grief in a better way and you can let go of whatever it was you were holding onto back then.
Time heals by lessening hurts. Although I don’t think some hurts ever truly heal or for that matter, some emptinesses never can be fully filled. But we can move on, we can take baby steps towards healing and we can fill the emptiness with healing love.
Shockingly, I think it helps when people have Alzheimer’s Disease and Dementia in some cases like this one. They simply don’t remember the life they had a few months ago. There doesn’t seem to be any hurt or sadness in the present moment, there is only presence, love and happiness. Sure we’ve had times whereby my family members get confused with the past and present, but a gentle change in direction of conversations or a redirect in a kind way, helps immensely.