It takes infinite patience to talk with someone with Alzheimer’s and Dementia. As a daughter and niece, I speak everyday with them. It is a part of my morning routine which for the most part, I enjoy. However, there are days when I have to muster the courage to call. I won’t ever not call, even though I am not sure they would realize that I hadn’t talk with them. But on that slight chance, I won’t take the risk.
Our conversations are repetitive. It’s not easy to answer the same questions multiple times. But patience is a virtue that I am trying to limitlessly attain. I admit I lie sometimes because they want me to be doing exciting things everyday and I simply don’t have that lifestyle. I know she worries about my safety because that’s who she is, so I always bend the truth to add that someone else is driving when I hear her begin to be anxious. It’s not that I’m trying to lie, but that in her state, it’s easier for her to imagine I am having a lovely time all the time, instead of hearing about my reality.
Surely she gets tired too of my questioning what they’ve done today or what she’s eaten as she never remembers. It’s funny how she can never recall her meals and yet I know she eats 3 a day. It’s got to be so difficult to be in her position although I think we have crossed over to peace with our lives at this point.
But it’s not easy to stand by and watch helplessly. The good thing is she still knows who I am. Still recites that she loves me multiple times and of course, I say it as well. It’s always been important for her to hear and say, “I love you” to her family. That is one part that I cherish during our daily conversations for I know that life is short, the future is unknown and it’s the present of the moment to hear those precious words and know she means them and vice versa.
Today’s post is dedicated to those who work in memory care or are caregivers for those who have lost their memories. Please accept my heartfelt hug. I understand. There’s a special place in Heaven for you.