I remember when I was in 8th grade (14 years old). My mom came into my bedroom just a few days before Christmas. She was in a serious mood that day and I remember thinking, “Uh oh, I’m in trouble.”
She asked to sit on the bed with me so that we could have a special talk. I nodded, not sure what this was all about at all. Did I get a bad grade? Did I forget to unload the dishwasher? Taking my hands in hers and turning to face me, she looked gently into my eyes.
“Yvonne, I have something to tell you. I know you may feel disappointed, but you need to know that your sister (who is 3 years younger) came to me this morning after breakfast and told me that she didn’t believe in Santa. She told me that she knew that Santa was actually Dad and me,” the words flew out of her mouth in a visible flurry.
She took a breath and then just stared at me, waiting for my reaction.
“I know Mom,” I quietly said to her as she squeezed my hand.
“You did?” The breath she was holding suddenly whooshed from her. I realized she had been nervous to tell me. She thought she was breaking the news to me. “But you never told me. Honey you’ve been acting like you believed in Santa and I was worried. I didn’t want to be the one to tell you, but now that your sister has told me that she knows, well…I just couldn’t allow you to go on believing. Why children would make fun of you!” She giggled nervously, much relieved to hear that she would not be known as the ‘Mom who told her child that there is no Santa Claus.’
“But why didn’t you tell me that you knew?”
“Because Sissy still believed and I love all the Christmas Spirit that believing in Santa brings to our house. Why would I tell anyone that I knew when it was fun to get caught up in the magic of Christmas? I didn’t want to ruin it for Sissy or for me quite frankly. It was more fun to pretend to believe.”
“Oh you are such a little Mommy to your sister. Of course you knew. You were just pretending. I get it. Ok then,” she squeezed my hands again, kissed my cheek and started to get up smiling.
“But Mom, can we pretend to believe anyway?”
“Sure, I guess so. No harm in that. Just don’t tell anyone,” she replied.
True story…but I never stopped believing and below are the reasons why…please indulge me…
Because I would love for Christmas to last all year long. I love singing Christmas carols and the old hymns in church on Sunday. They are my favorite songs by far. I love the frosty cold, so that I have to snuggle up in my footie pajamas at night under the covers. I love to watch the way the snow falls gently to the ground at night under the outside light. I love how snow falls in all different ways. I love the magic that Christmas brings us all, that spirit of giving, the spirit of friendship, and most of all, the spirit of love. I love that most people act happy around Christmas. We get together with friends and family whom we haven’t seen in awhile. Everyone seems joyful, even Santa who says ho ho ho! I love to give special presents, knowing that the gift is in the giving even when the gift is small. Not to mention, I love to receive gifts and to unwrap them with enthusiastic anticipation! I love to sit down with our family to eat a delicious meal slowly and with great gusto. I love that we all take time to just be with each other instead of rushing about for work and school. I love the white lights on the Christmas tree and the tradition of decorating it with the old ornaments from our ancestors. I love setting up the creche with the little manger animals and being able to move them around and seeing the angels who watched over them all. I loved the train set that my Dad used to set up around the tree every year. I loved imagining I was the conductor, stopping and starting the Lionel engine and 3 cars. I love hanging the stockings from the mantle hooks. I love the smell of fresh baked cookies and how they seem to melt in my mouth, bending with warmth. I love imagining that I can have whatever I ask Santa for ~ world peace, a loving relationship, being debt-free, helping others, good health, the ability to shine my essence for all to see and to honor and love every person I meet. I love the greenery of Christmas, sparkling red and green, silver and gold (remember the song?), and watching the Christmas specials on television at night. I love to listen to the superb silence on a cold winter’s night, imagining that I hear sleigh bells in the distance. I love how so many people say, “Happy Holidays” and “Merry Christmas” with a smile. I love the generosity of gratitude that is shown at this time of year. I adore writing and receiving Christmas cards! I put them up on my refrigerator for all to see how the kids have grown over the year. I love to hear from old friends and new friends, catching up on life. I love the magic of flying reindeer and how the red nose of one became a shining gift of light! Thanks Rudolf! I love the candlelight of Christmas decorations. I love the sparkles and the enticing scent of a real balsam tree. I love to pick out special gifts for others at Christmastime. I love to have the store wrap the gifts for me. I love to choose a special moment each morning to just be peacefully grateful in my home. Best of all, I love all of the blessings bestowed on us everyday, but especially at Christmas.
What about you?
I’ve never stopped believing in Santa either! I love being Santa, seeing Santa in others, reading all the great Christmas stories of faith and giving. turning off all the lights except the Christmas lights and listening to lovely Christmas music.
Great post, very nostalgic. It brought back some precious memories.
Oh yes, I love to do that as well! Thank you dear Wendy! ♥ Merry Christmas to you!!
What a beautiful and endearing post Yvonne..tears of happiness…I too have always believed and wished that Christmas could be all year long. I think my heaven will look like Christmastime! 💖 Your reasons for loving Christmas ring true and are such a testament of who you are…a caring and loving soul! Lots of love to you 🎅
I am blessed to know and to love you Heather. I knew we had this bond…xoxo I am grateful for your sweet Christmas spirit! ♥
Oh, wow…you brought it all back for me! And I needed it today because my local family is having Christmas all day today and then they are traveling next week, I loved the feeling you brought to my heart, mind and soul! Thank you!!
Thank you for your kind comment – I just went back into what I remember happily as a child and adult! I am sure you have lovely memories that you have made over the years ~ and many to make today as you enjoy Christmas with your family with much love xoxo
Yes, Virginia…there is a Santa Claus!”
Yvonne has given the very reasons why.
Oh Alan! Yes, there is a Santa full of love, light and magic! Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Truly touching, Yvonne. The believer in you is beautiful. You are a light of hope, joy and love. Shine on!
Thanks Vicki ~ I see the same in you dear friend! ♥ Keep shining your special light into all of our lives!
When my daughters were of the age of giving up believing in Santa and asked me if it was true, I asked them, “Do you believe in magic?” and they said yes, and I told them that Santa is part of the magic of Christmas. To believe simply means to keep the magic alive.
and we do.
Love this post Yvonne — very very beautiful. Like you and your radiant heart. Shine on!
I giggle with my children that if you don’t believe, you don’t receive. Although they don’t ‘believe’ anymore, we all pretend on Christmas to keep that magical spirit alive and it works! I love seeing you here Louise! You shine like a twinkling star! ♥
I remember knowing the difference but feeling the same way you did. Much more fun pretending!
Merry Christmas, Yvonne. ❤
I even try to pretend now when my kids don’t believe! And they get caught up in it as well and pretend along with me. 🙂 Merry Christmas to you Jennifer. ♥
This is your heart on the page. I love it and feel exactly the same way. I have been known to leave my tree up all year…all I do is remove the ornaments and replace them with seasonal flowers or berries or whatever I find that works. I tell folks it’s a lamp 🙂 and I find that the mood in our home is always a bit lighter with that ‘lamp’ on which is good enough reason to me to keep it lit. Quirky maybe, but I haven’t been called nutz yet! Enjoy the magic my friend and I wish you and your family a very, very, Merry Christmas…ho ho ho ♥
Ho Ho Ho to you dear Rhonda! I like your tree idea! I leave the candles lit in the front windows all year long. I have for years because I like the look of it and it gives me that loving Christmas spirit to see my house lit with a welcoming touch. Merry Christmas to you and yours. xoxo
Thank you for saying so beautifully what is in my heart! THIS IS MY STORY! And, I suspect, the story of many others too. I have so missed being able to visit your beautiful blog; I hope that life will allow me to return more often this year…Happy 2015!
Happy to see your smiling face here Julia. May 2015 be a year filled with joy, health and above all, love! ♥