Take the First Step

“The first step towards getting somewhere

is to decide that you are not going to stay

where you are.” – Unknown

I always think of Monday being the beginning of the week.  I know it’s not how the US calendar is set up, but it is always how I’ve felt.  Perhaps it is my faith ~ ‘For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.’ ~ Exodus 20:11  Or perhaps it is from living in Europe that I have adopted this thought process.  Either way, for me, Monday heralds a new week ahead for me and I delight in the newness and possibility that shines.

Staying in place and not growing where you are planted is hard to do.  Blooming where we are planted is what we are supposed to do, but what happens when the bloom falls off the rose?  What happens when where we are isn’t allowing growth?  Recognizing this is step one.  Taking baby steps when you know you need to grow is step two.

But taking the leap of faith that acknowledges that where you are is not where you need to be can be a struggle.  There is a numbness in staying where you are comfortable and not reaching out towards the light of growth.  There is a stillness here which once we acclimate to, makes it harder to move on and think about what excites us and what makes us grow as a person.  There are levels to which we grow accustomed and many times we fight the growth which leads us to higher understanding as an individual.

It is exhausting to walk untethered when we have been partnered for a long time.  It is confusing as well until we acknowledge that we are not in a good place anymore.  It serves us not to fight the tides of change.  I am a planner and it is hard to simply stand still and be while changes swirl around me.  But it also gives me time to think, to reach down into my psyche and reconnect with the gal I know inside.  That is growth while standing still.  I may be in the same place, but I am changing within, adjusting to circumstances of which I have no control.  I can only control myself and I choose to do so with kindness, love, respect and affection.  For I am still me and it is who I am innately that I bring to the forefront in my life.  It is the survivor in me, the one who peeks out from behind those proverbial rose-colored glasses and actually sees the situation at large and who has decided not to fight the tide, but instead, to go with the flow for my own sake as well as the sakes of others involved in my life story.

I admit it is innate for me to look to the sunshine, the dawn and the dusk for tranquility.  I am the one who searches the sky for the rainbow after the thunderous storms.  I hold dearly the love in my heart and freely shine my self-knowledge on those whose hearts are open, willing and able to accept me.  I knock tentatively on the closed doors even when I know a heart beats on the other side, too still to accept more than a crack of light.  It is ok.  I am patient and I know what others do not.  I sense sadness and defeat behind the closed door.  I sense the lock and key there.  I have been behind the closed door myself.  Only the key-keeper can open it when ready.  It takes time.  It takes patience and understanding.  It takes a village and sometimes, the key never turns in the lock.  That is a choice.

But I am beginning to walk on the path alone, surrounded by love, light and tendrils of friendship which support me.  Unafraid, I do not seek shelter, but instead, I take baby steps into the sunshine.  All that is required is baby steps of growth without time limits, without restraint.  I settle my feet on the path before me and listen to the crunch of the fallen leaves of hopes and dreams past.  Head held high, I step forward knowing that as the seasons change, so must I and I welcome my loving being into the sunshine.

Shine On!

xo

P.S.  Thanks HAngel for the photo. ♥