It Is What It Is



“What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to something that already is?” ~ Eckhart Tolle

The above came in my email this morning and I felt that it needed to be shared.  Too many times, we resist change whether it be something small like dinner plans or something big like illness, bankruptcy, death or the end of a relationship.  We turn our heads without facing the truth of the matter.  We turn away from what’s right in front of us, pleading that it goes away and leaves us alone.  We beg for things to stay the same or to change the way we wish, but not necessarily where it’s headed.  Some may try to make deals with God or others in order to not have to change.  They fight it, refusing to see, burying heads in the proverbial sand and not accepting what is.

I dislike the quote, “it is what it is” for it leaves me feeling bitter.  I don’t know, why but it does.  It’s like there’s nothing left.  There’s a lack.  There are no choices, it just is and that’s what gets me every time.  Because I see that there are choices ~ choices in how we view and deal with changes and events that we didn’t choose.

Lately I’ve been through some tough changes.  At first I thought I’d try to fight the changes with the bravery of a hellcat.  Then I released the resistance to the changes.   It doesn’t serve me to be angry, resentful nor unforgiving.  However, it serves me to treat others with kindness, love and patience.  I know not where this change will lead me, but I am choosing how I deal with it in my life.

We all have choices.

Our life is our responsibility.

We can choose how we change.

I’m not saying that I haven’t been angry for the changes that have been thrust into my life.  I am not a Pollyanna either.  But after great pondering and soul searching, I choose different words to see how the changes will affect me.  I consistently rebuff the words lack and losing and choose opening up and freedom.  I have gone deep within my mind, soul and heart to change how I am dealing with this change and I hope that I can be a role model in how I’m dealing with all that’s occurring.

For we need to find peace, happiness and love in our hearts in order to stay healthy.  Forgive but perhaps not forget as we move along this path of life.  The quote, “change is inevitable” is another one which I dislike, only because I feel that heaviness inside when someone uses that phrase.  Instead, I feel that change is the opportunity to grow, to think outside the plans we had for our lives and to move forward in a way that was unseen before now.  It is a freedom of sorts I think.  It takes away limits that we had previously held onto and allows choices that we had forgotten about to emerge.

It’s not easy sailing into unknown waters in life.  Of that, I’m certain.  There are storms and upheavals but there is also smooth sailing on clear days.  Sometimes the wind takes us to places that we never knew existed and if we hadn’t endured the painful changes, we might never be where we end up.  So my advice to you is to ‘go with the flow’ and allow the Universe to guide your loving, forgiving heart.  Allow others to be themselves and accept changes so that you can change too.

Be kind to yourselves every day.

Shine On!



39 thoughts on “It Is What It Is

  1. I too get that ick feeling when I hear ‘it is what it is’. It’s almost as bad as the saying ‘you get what you deserve’. Really? I don’t think so. Like you, I believe in choice. It is what it is? No, it is what we make it. We get what we deserve? No, the only thing we deserve is the consequences of choices we make. Our lives are what we make of them…one cognitive (or not perhaps) choice at a time. You’ve been handed more than your fair share of situations where the choices may appear at first to be the rock and the hard place. But you manage to find the soft spot in between; that door through which your light shines through. Whatever the difficulty now my friend, I see again, you’ve chosen to shine a light on it, see it for what it is, recognize you have choices, and choose what’s best for your own heart, health, and peace of mind. I admire you so much…xo

  2. I used to have a professor in college who was quoted as saying that “he enjoyed seeing students fail, because it built character!” Another quote of his was, “Life isn’t fair, so why should my tests be?” Both of his quotes used to make me so angry because they had so much negativity in them. This man obviously didn’t like teaching nor should he ever have been a teacher. He failed some very bright students who didn’t deserve failure and he failed exactly 50% of our class. Unfortunately, he had tenure and so when a group of students went to the higher ups to complain about him, they were told nothing could be done!

    I am sorry you have been through tough changes lately. You are so right when you say we need to find peace, happiness and love in our hearts in order to stay healthy. I pray for all of these things for you Yvonne.

    • Thank you Gail for your prayers and your support. I am sorry you had such a professor as I simply don’t see the benefits of his actions. I believe we lift others up and not fail them with negativity. I am glad you are not near him anymore. ♥

  3. This reminds me very much for Byron Katie’s work: “Loving What Is” If you ever get a chance to see her on video she’s amazing. Great post! Sharing!

  4. Yvonne I love this post and I go with the flow, there is a reason why things happen, some of them never make sense and some do. Forgiving is a huge skill that we must learn so that life flows along. Gratitude for the smallest of gifts keeps me grounded too. I hope you are having a good day. Kath.

  5. Great post Yvonne and facing “what is” can be difficult and yet in accepting this each day, I too have understood that I use much less energy when I don’t resist it. Thanks for sharing your journey with us.

  6. Wonderful post from a courageous and adaptable person, in you, Yvonne.
    Much change comes to us in life, either from without or within. By our own doing or from others, Whether well intentioned or not. Well thought out adjusting can make change more palatable and beneficial.
    However, there is a change that should be resisted with all that we have within us to do so. And that is change that seeks to alter objective truth. Whatever effect truth has on our lives, no matter how pleasant or painful, it will set us on a right path that leads to a realistic and just end. Any thing else is acquiescing to a lie, which leads one’s life astray to waste and resulting in a fruitless end.

  7. Oh I pray that in dealing with this change or these changes that you continue to maintain such a positive attitude. Things don’t have to be: it is what it is. They can be: it is what it isn’t if we choose to make changes in our attitudes and adapt. Thanks for sharing. Hugs, N 🙂 ❤

  8. My “nails on the chalkboard” phrase… It’s all part of God’s plan.

    I cannot fathom a deity which has war, cancer, my eldest Goddaughter being orphaned at less 1 year old, or a host of other ‘bad’ things in the world as part of his/her/its plan. The gift of free will means that all of us are agents of change (positive or negative) in the universe.

    • Oh yes, ML, that’s another one that sticks in my craw. I agree with you. But we must continue to find the peace which surrounds us and look to positivity, be positivity for ourselves and others. Uniting and connecting makes us stronger as peacemakers. ♥

  9. There are always some very ‘trite’ sayings bandied about and I feel it’s about people trying to contain things and events. How can we contain life with all it’s twists and turns? It’s how we look at things that we can change and there are times when we need time to adapt our thinking to circumstances that we are faced with. Well meaning advice can be about others issues with things…it’s tough enough dealing with critical illness and sharp life changes, without having to defend or battle others fears. Everyone lives and adapts at their own pace. Kindness rules…to ourselves and in turn to others. Love is all that matters. I love you and your courageous wisdom. ❤

    • Jane, I love you too…and I love your comment about kindness rules, love is all that matters because those are essential truths. Wouldn’t it be lovely for us to be able to instill that in everyone? I am so happy to see your happy face here. Thanks for your amazing presence in my life. ♥

  10. Still catching up. Love Eckhart Tolle and his work. Byron Katie, I hated her book. Tossed it across the room and said I was not done being angry yet. (I used another not so nice phrase) I learned more from that book than many others. Everything may be what it is but we have to capacity to change it by our perception of it. There will always be something to stir up our resistance. It’s how we see the contrast between what we want and what we don’t. I’ve had some resistance to my sister living with me while she rebuilds her life. She burned it to the ground and somehow it has become my problem to deal with. So I changed my perception of the situation and we are doing quite well now. That feeling in the gut has disappeared. Funny how upset at someone else only effects you, not them. My health requires that I look at things from a positive position always. Great post.

    • I love your comment and thank you for sharing ~ you are so right about changing perceptions. I have had many opportunities to do just that even when I didn’t want to and it reminds me of your Byron Katie comment! 🙂 But in the end, it’s our health that matters and so I change the channel in my mind. Thanks for being here. xo

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