Island

rock“I touch no one and no one touches me.”

~ Simon and Garfunkel

As loving souls, we often do things for others.  We are not looking for a specific thank you, we just want to help, to give and to love in our own special way.  Perhaps it is the ego in us which hopes for a small token of acknowledgement when we continue to strive to help another person.  We want them to see how much we love them and are willing to help, to support and to join forces.

But sometimes, even the most dedicated of us cannot make someone understand the amount of love we have for them.  The words, the actions fall on deafened ears and spirit.  We cannot bulldoze our way into their psyche.  The door is bolted shut and we are alone on the other side.  They are a rock, an island, not to be touched.

So how do you deal with an Island Gal or Guy?  Do you wait around for them to open the fortress door a crack to let some light in?  Or do you try to break it down with a loving embrace (provided they let you)?  Or do you knock three times saying the magic words, “abracadabra” and pray you’ll be heard?  Or do you kick the door and walk away?

It’s a hard position to be in.  One can only do what they can in a situation like this and it isn’t an easy place to be.  There’s a fine line between being self-sufficient and closed off to the world.  Only you yourself can open the door when you’re an Island.  Have you ever encountered an Island or a Rock Gal or Guy?  What happened?  Were you able to scale the castle walls and encourage a relationship or were you shot down?  Or did you just love them from afar, respecting their walls and taking what is given when it’s given?  Or did you finally just give up because you had no other choice?

I’m reminded of a song from my Dad’s 8 track player.  Perhaps it will conjure up some help in how to understand those rocks and islands in our lives.  Perhaps we should simply allow them their freedoms.

Shine On!

xo

A winter’s day
In a deep and dark December;
I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
I’ve built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
It’s laughter and it’s loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
Don’t talk of love,
But I’ve heard the words before;
It’s sleeping in my memory.
I won’t disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
I have my books
And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.

 

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30 thoughts on “Island

  1. Oh my! Well…where to start? You have written a post and you included what was my “Theme” song when I was a young girl. When I learned how to love again I can remember being amazed and oh so sad that that particular song would be “anybody’s theme song…let alone a young girl…let alone mine!! Having been there…done that…I do not even know how I would answer your questions! You have given me something to ponder…for sure!
    I will be away for a few days…so I will not be posting but will try to read via smartphone. I hope you are well…as the time is dwindling (I can’t believe how fast it is going!!!) I will contact you when I am back and maybe we figure out a time that would work 🙂 Miss you!! ❤

    • Miss you too…so sorry you felt that song was your theme song as a young girl. How sad I am for you but how proud, happy and joyful that you are not feeling like an island anymore…you are love. You are loved. ♥ Hope to see you soon!

      • I love you!! Thank you…you mean a great deal to me 🙂 I am not an island anymore…you are correct!! <3. I hope it works out that we can see each other before I leave! There is a lull (that's passed) and then all heck breaks loose trying to get everything done before we go. And this little trip was not planned…but very exciting!!! I'll contact you when we are back! ❤

  2. I ended up walking away…I still flow loving thoughts their way, but I walked away before my loving thoughts became entangled in their lack of love belief system.

  3. Dear Yvonne! What a beautiful post and interesting questions. Thanks for taking time to transcribe the lyrics of this beautiful song. It matters for non native speakers like me 🙂
    “Perhaps it is the ego in us which hopes for a small token of acknowledgement when we continue to strive to help another person”
    I fully understand what you mean and what you feel, because I have already felt exactly the same. And I was deeply hurt.
    I remember I wrote some lines about:
    “Sincerity (or love)
    thanked by
    indifference, coldness, unfairness.
    Obvious preferences.
    Bitter feeling.
    Without resentment. Just pain.”
    So I am really touched by your words..
    Yes, some people “are a rock, an island, not to be touched.”…
    And you ask very crucial questions. What’s to do?
    Maybe first should we ask ourselve, does he or she need and deserve my concern? I was touched, but is he or she really touched by me? We can become a rock too, in this case.
    But I believe also in the cause-effect law, loving and generous hearts like yours cannot prevent themselves from loving and…being generous. In fact, it is a BLESSING, I mean, a Present (like in the Present of Presence…) God has made to you, giving you a kind of angelic mission to show to the other what is love and compassion… so, LOVE and GENORISITY cause … love and generosity… but the cause/effect law needs TIME to be totally efficient… as a teacher working with pupils having learning difficulties, I can tell you it’s sometimes quite despairing… but as I say to may colleagues, we cannot imagine that a small drop yesterday become a lake and maybe a sea tomorrow… so yes, keep on generosity and love, love the rock, love the cold heart – maybe do just a little less since he or she cannot understand or show the same warmth that’s yours. Keep on, because you’re an example. And he or she doesn’t love or seemed concerned in return, and doesn’t express gratitude, it doesn’t matter. Because you testimonied of love and generosity, and SOMEONE ELSE, in return, will love you and be generous to you. It is a big mystery, but a result of the cause and effect law.

    So I would respond: let time change the heart of stone. And if time cannot change it, don’t lose Hope. Another heart will help you, another heart will give love to you, in return.

    Because God never abandon angels like you 🙂

    Love to you Yvonne!

    PS
    Here in the blogosphere, I experimented that… I can tell you it’s true…

    • Dearest Frederic,
      Your beautiful words touch my heart as they always do…and I gratefully send you love and appreciation for your honesty, your thoughtfulness and your help. I know that this is true about the blogosphere as I have learned that from the amazing community for which I am happily a part of and all of the caring bloggers (like yourself) whom I have connected. I’m sending happy hugs to you and love to you Frederic! ♥♥♥

  4. I once had an individual in my life that I loved dearly, but I could not penetrate that wall that kept me, any everybody else out. He was a good person deep down and I always felt he had so much more to give than he would let himself. For years, I “held on loosely”, being there, but giving him his space. But then I realized I was holding myself back by holding on. So I had to let go. I let him know I will always be there for him if he needed me, but he would have to be the one to reach out. It was time for me to surround myself with people who wanted me in their life. Letting go was extremely difficult, but I am so much happier now!

  5. I have been the rock and the island….built by emotionally distant parents, and nurtured in my heart for too long. I see rocks and islands everywhere I go because I know what it feels like. I find that the best way to reach these hurting souls (besides a smile and basic kindness) is to give blessings to them, asking that their hearts be open to Boundless Love.

  6. I have been the rock or island at times. When others are rocks or islands I choose to love them from afar, respecting their choice and take what I can when it’s offered. ❤
    Diana xo

  7. When in high school, I enjoyed the songs of S&G. More-so than the Beatles.
    I believe, all that we can do for others, is to be an example that is a balance of truth and compassion. “Truth alone tends to cruelty and compassion alone becomes sentimentality.”-Saint Mother Teresa.
    If the person’s whose welfare you are concerned over, wants to be helped, they will be drawn to your example and message.
    There is a painting of Christ knocking at a door. However, the door does not have a latch on the outside. Meaning that we have to let Him in. He will not force Himself upon us.
    As always, even with God, it is our choice.
    -Alan

  8. I love this post! Thank you for the many glimpses of your glorious spirit it reveals. I also love the lyrics to the song. As one who felt lonely for many of the earlier parts of my life, I made a commitment to myself to never abandon those I called a friend (and it didn’t matter whether or not they viewed me the same way.) I kept that commitment in every case until about a year ago when I finally realized after 48 years of knowing him–I’m a SLOW learner–there was one person for whom the emotional and time cost of attempting to stay in relationship had become too great for me with little or no effort made whatsoever in all that time by him. We spoke our truth about it and the built up resentments of two lifetimes were voiced. It saddened me to finally let go, but it was also a great relief as I realized he’d been dragging me under. I wish him great and lasting joy–and told him so–but will do so from afar.
    Russ

    • Oh Russ, thank you. I am usually upbeat and enthusiastic and I try to be inspiring. But I also like to connect and hope to learn from others as well. Thank you for sharing your story about your friend. I am sure you send him lasting joy ~ from afar is probably the best way. ♥

  9. Reblogged this on A Grateful Man and commented:
    Most of my blog posts are upbeat. That is how I choose to focus my life. Sometimes, however, I’m not upbeat and my posts will occasionally reflect that feeling. This re-blog reflects one of those times. It is powerful and from a dear friend. It brought up sad thoughts and feelings for me. I love this post! It reveals many glimpses of Misifusa’s glorious spirit. I also love the lyrics to the song (though the video has been removed.) As one who felt lonely for many of the earlier parts of my life, I made a commitment to myself to never abandon those I called a friend (and it didn’t matter whether or not they viewed me the same way.) I kept that commitment in every case until about a year ago when I finally realized after 48 years of knowing him–I’m a SLOW learner–there was one person for whom the emotional and time cost of attempting to stay in relationship had become too great for me with little or no effort made whatsoever in all that time by him. We both spoke our truth about it and the built up resentments of two lifetimes were voiced. It saddened me to finally let go, but it was also a great relief as I realized he’d been dragging me under. I wish him great and lasting joy–and told him so–but will do so from afar.
    Russ

  10. I have always and still love the words to this song. The melody is haunting as well.
    Sigh. It’s sad when we try and try again to keep a relationship with a best friend and then it falls apart after 40 or 50 years. I’ve talked to a number of people and it appears this happens more often than I thought.
    A timely post for a good think.

  11. Beautiful and thought provoking Yvonne. Thank you!
    I have come across rocks and islands and I understand because I was like them as well. I will go with Diana here. When we recognize it, love them from afar.
    Their heart is protected because they fear being vulnerable in the world. The more we give love, the more they will feel vulnerable in opening up to receive it.
    Sometimes they need to incubate by themselves.
    And sometimes we have to give them space forever depending on how it is impacting our own well being.
    When we give, the other has to be open to receive. Otherwise they may see it as invading or smothering. So sad … but in my experience … so true.
    Letting go of the dynamics or the relationships itself may be the only way to preserve you both.
    Val x

  12. I’ve had two breaks with people I dearly loved over lifestyle choices in conflict with my own. In each case the break was unwanted but I felt necessary for my survival. Time is what healed both of these breaks.

    In one case, I decided the thing I felt was a lifestyle conflict really wasn’t that important…but admittedly, it took over ten years to figure that out. In the other case, we both changed our lifestyles pretty much simultaneously and were in a good position to reestablish our bond looking at it with fresh perspective.

    In both situations the love and depth of each relationship came back completely simply with the reconnection and it exists just as strongly to this day.

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