I can only speak for myself here, but the most extraordinary experience happened to me last night and I felt the need to share. I was telling someone yesterday that I’ve endured more than 15 surgeries in my lifetime with at least one more on the horizon which I have been putting off because I know the energy I need to extend in order to have that surgery, not to mention the upset my being in the hospital and not being able to be a Mom in our household causes. I know that every time I have surgery, there are costs incurred that insurance doesn’t cover. I know that I lose brain cells, that I endure pain and suffering and I have a long road ahead to recover. It’s no wonder I’ve put off this last surgery (hopefully last!) for more than a year. Obviously it’s not a surgery that I need to have done immediately, otherwise I would just bite the bullet and have it now.
So as I laid my head on my pillow last night, I was thinking about the next surgery that is directly due to my breast cancer diagnoses from 2001. As I was thinking about it, it occurred to me how much my body has endured ~ and I’m still here. I started thinking of all that my body has endured for me ~ all of the surgeries I’ve experienced and how my body continues to recover albeit slower these days and how grateful I am to my body. I thought of the endless 6 months of poisoning chemotherapy which took my body down to its barest being, the daily shots, the intense 6 weeks of radiation, the eternal testings that required still, and all the traumatic experiences that have occurred so far in this lifetime. I thought of how most people who meet me now, have no idea of what I’ve endured in this lifetime because my body has been such a great healer. Sure, I have gained pounds that I regret, my body shape is not ‘normal’ anymore and I wish I had the svelte body I picture in my head instead of a scarred one that I see in the mirror. But the fact remains, my body has done so much for me and I regret that I haven’t ever thanked her properly.
So, closing my eyes, I simply thanked my body and with my mind, I gently hugged my body, really lovingly hugged my body. Appreciating all that she has endured so well for me to be able to keep going, baby steps, through my life. Many people live without ever experiencing a surgery, their bodies never having to recover from being mangled and here my body has been through the wringer (no kidding!) and she’s still here, ready for me to get up every morning, feed her a bit of coffee, pet the cat and write my blog (after hugging and kissing my family of course!)
It occurred to me in that instant that I’d never properly thanked her for healing, for being and for enduring so much. I know some of you may find this a strange post, but have you ever stopped for a moment to thank your body for helping you to ‘be’ you ~ for taking you where you want to go, for functioning without a thought, for breathing without you having to direct its movements? When you think about the majesty which is your living, breathing body, it’s just amazing. We don’t stop often to remind ourselves to breathe, do we? Our bodies seem to just go on automatic pilot and do it for us. But what happens when it’s not automatic anymore? Or when our bodies feel dis-ease?
I guess I just wanted you to take a moment today, close your eyes and wrap your spirit around your physical body ~ hug yourself, hold yourself and give thanks for your body. Don’t berate your body for being overweight, not good enough or any other negative thought you may have about it. Just breathe in and be with your essence of your body. Hug your body like you would a sweet child who needs comforting. Quietly sing its praises for all that it does for you each and every moment of the day. Feel gratitude for your body and how it serves you, tirelessly all the days of your life. Refrain from criticizing your body and praise its beauty. You may be pleasantly surprised how it responds!