Here’s One Answer to “Why Me?”


“A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials. “
Chinese Proverb

Let’s be clear, I’m not looking for perfection.  Not for myself nor for anyone else in the vicinity.  You can choose to look for whatever you wish.  I will tell you though, that I think you are perfect, just the way you are ~ the way you really are ~ that soulful you.  The one deep inside beneath all the rubble of your outside persona.  You know what I’m talking about, don’t you?  The inner being who inhabits the human body called YOU.

That being is perfect.  That person is love.  That soul is perfect.

And when it comes to asking that all-important question, “why me?” I think the above Chinese proverb is a good start.  Nobody likes troubles, illness, death, financial problems, feeling unloved, tragedy, violence etc in our lives.  We’d prefer a quiet, loving atmosphere in which to grow and to enjoy the time we have here on Earth.  But ‘life happens’ and we are many times thrust into situations of which we have little or no control over and we must dog paddle our way to the safe shore.  It’s not fun.  It’s not easy.  Trials and tribulations aren’t usually fun.  Little pings of anxiety after them aren’t either.  They are simply nudges I think to get our lives back on track if we’ve fallen away from our purpose.

But after the incident/illness, when we look back, we can see how the trials shaped us, refined us and polished our lives.  If you have endured life changing moments, you may understand what I am trying to say even though today I feel as if I am floundering in how I am writing to you.  I am not saying, for the record, that I am happy that I had breast cancer.  Oh no.   I would have been happy with a peace-filled, illness-free life.  But am I grateful for the trial so that I learned how truly strong I am, how I can reach out to help inspire others and how being loved and loving others means the most in life?  Well, then, yes. yes, and yes.

Breast cancer changed my life permanently in all different ways.  My physical body, my physical abilities, my mental state, my brain’s capacity and even my spiritual awareness all are irrevocably changed.  I have a chronic illness that I cannot overcome.  I have memory problems.  I have limited abilities in areas where BC (before cancer) I was limitless.  There is time that I can never get back.  There are many losses and few gains.  There is a learning curve which I never expected.  There are answers that I never even knew I could seek and find.  There are questions that will remain unanswerable and I must find peace within in order to move on.

Sometimes it boils down to the simple…I am here and gratefully present.

Shine On!


26 thoughts on “Here’s One Answer to “Why Me?”

  1. Like you, I am not grateful that Cancer invaded my space more than six years ago. But, I am grateful that it changed my life for the better. I came face-to-face with my own mortality and concluded “living life to its fullest” was within my control. I took control and started to live.

  2. Me too. ♡
    I understand the search for the words.
    I can’t imagine not going deep inside..not sure that I would have without the situation I was in. Because I had such a persistent case of anorexia, I HAD to keep searching. And I really like what I found. Sometimes maybe we can’t see the whole picture. Is there a gentler way? Perhaps. Perhaps we are here to show the way. ♡♡♡ it seems we are doing that.

  3. You know that I understand… Yes, there is something good from anything bad, but who wants the bad? No one. I often say in my posts that I have learned on the hard way that life does not discriminate, it treats us equaly. What happens to everyone else, can happen to me. Scary, but yes in theory. I want to share with you a quote from my latest post (and btw why aren’t you there more often 😛 )

    “But life isn’t all white. It’s yin and yang. And do not let your down’s bring the shadow on your up’s, because the balance is what it is really all about.”

  4. YOU are a shining gem and I am so grateful that you share what is in your heart with us. Yes, there is a balance and goodness does come from our struggles. But not everyone gets this. I am happy that you, and others who respond here have crossed over into love, which provides understanding. Many blessings to you all…Blessitude…Lorrie

  5. Pingback: Are You Angry? | Misifusa's Blog

  6. This very interesting to read because I’m trying to figure out what going with me and seeing it now, I have grown resentful and angry with each experience instead of polishing me, each this circumstances has “chip” me in away, now that jaded and on edge regardless of subject or moment

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