Do you choose emotional pain as a comfort food?
I know, this is a shocking and controversial question. But it begs to be asked ~ and answered, by you and by me. I’ve been watching way too much tv the last few days because I’ve been sick. Nestled on the couch with kitty and remote, I’ve observed and napped through several shows. I had thought it was wasted time until I came across this little nugget that has made me start to think differently ~ and that has made it all worth-while for me.
There was a woman who was traumatized ~ emotionally, physically and sexually abused who had trouble in her relationships. As the show progressed, one observation came out ~ she was more comfortable with her emotional pain than she was in the unknown that lay before her in order to heal. Does that make sense to you? Think about it. If you’ve endured any type of abuse, do you find that living with that familiar pain is somehow more comforting to you? Does it allow you to understand when you’re feeling trepidation in trying new things? Does it act as an excuse, a way to bend the rules for yourself and to allow certain actions or thought processes because you’ve been mistreated in the past? Is it an automatic anchor of “why I think/act/am this way?” Have you’ve learned how to live with this pain so well that you function despite it? Do you hoard it away, allowing it to be your own secret excuse as to why you’re not getting what you want out of this life? Because I’m damaged? Because I was hurt/wronged/abused? Does any of this sound familiar to you?
Before you get too far into wanting to strangle me for what I’ve written, I want you to take a minute to see if/how/why you are reacting so strongly towards it because that was my first inclination as well. It took meditating and sleeping on the thought overnight before I realized how my strong reaction to ‘of course I act this way because of x, y, z happened’ mellowed with the vision that it’s my strong-willed emotional pain that I use as a comfort food when I am too afraid to break the bonds that have bound me for so long.
Think about it. Are you using your own emotional pain as a comfort food?
Are you ready to choose light over pain as a comfort food?
Oh yes…. I think the same can be said about my fat “cocoon”
Big hugs to you! ♥
Better you that gets strangled than me….I completely agree…Some just settle into their new role as “one-who-is-wronged”….unless you can untie those emotional boulders your ship will sink.
Great image ~ love the boulders/ship analogy. ♥♥♥
“The inward battle…against our mind, our wounds, and the residues of the past…is more terrible than outward battle.”-
I agree…inner pain can become a buffet table of comfort food if you let it. Great post..thought-provoking! Xo
I love your response ~ thank you for sharing ~ it is a buffet from which we’ve all eaten from time to time. I’ve decided I”m gonna refrain from that buffet! ♥ xoxo
I would love to have you for a big dinner party because these thoughts get people thinking. Imagine how great people would feel if the light shone into there hearts and minds just a little.
I would love to have dinner with you and talk! Wouldn’t that be a lovely party if we could all do that? ♥
Your second paragraph is profound. May it awaken and help to free spirits trapped in old stories.
Thank you Russ. Your support, encouragement and honesty always make me strive to be a better writer. Thank you for being you. ♥
It takes courage for sure to step into the unknown. I wish I had known just how it actually is..that’s why I keep trying to describe the indescribable. ♡ L
Not describe..maybe point to. ♡
You are so right Laurie!! xo ♥
Sometimes the better unknown feels scarier than the bad known.
How true! I’ve thought the same thing before, but now I know better…xoxo
Interesting… I remember when I was studying to be a counsellor, applied Psychology, we had to do this exercise… Imagine our troubles in a back pack or suitcase or how ever we want to carry them … Then imagine life without them.. What would it look like???? How would we act and talk with out this back pack, what could we blame for problems with out this back pack ???? When we were ready we had to go somewhere and in our minds get rid of this bag of troubles… Of the past … Let them go… I went to the beach near home with mine and sat and reflected on life without them … My new life… A very interesting exercise and one I have never forgotten… The big question to answer is what does your life look like without them??? Working with clients was about taking into account when and if they were ready to shed there backpack and some never are!!
Helen, you are so right ~ shedding that backpack is crucial and many times takes baby steps! Keep up the great work ~ so proud of you! ♥
This is very true. Many people choose to live with their pain than attempt to make changes because they fear the unknown more than the known. This is why women who are abused often stay in their bad situation. I have many friends, clients and even family members who have done the same thing, including myself. We dwell in our pit of despair, fixing it up to be comfortable and just barely exist, thinking that is all we deserve and there isn’t anything better. I finally got out of my pit by working hard to change my negative thinking and feeding my faith instead of my fears.
So proud of you for all you’ve done and all that you continue to do! I love your advice of feeding faith instead of fears! Thank you so much for sharing! So happy to hear that things are better for you! ♥
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Again, this rings too many familiar bells… We become our habits, that is why it’s harder to stop smoking after 20 years than after three months. And our habits, however they might be destructive, is what keeps us feeling safe. Unsafe is scary. so, even if we feel pain (which can go up to very high levels) we have a tendancy to stay with it rather to change. But, change set you free…believe me… 🙂
I believe you as I have learned that lesson myself. ♥
Yes we have… And learning still ❤
I HEARTily agree. xo