“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”
Mother Teresa
Love is an on-going lesson for most of us. It’s easy to love the world when things are bright and cheerful. It’s a bit more taxing to love when life isn’t going your way or better said, when others aren’t doing what you like/want/expect. That’s where the love thing gets a bit sketchy. I have been known to LOVE my family, but not LIKE them at times. Does that make sense to you? Have you ever felt that way?
LOVE is the bottom line for me though ~ even if I may not like what you’ve said/done, I still love you and in loving you, I accept you for who you are and not who I want you to be in my life. For example, I loved my Dad who’s passed, but I didn’t like him some of the time. I didn’t like the things he did and said. I judged him by his actions and for his lack of actions. I yearned for his approval, I longed to hear his praise of me, not the praise I heard after his passing by others who knew him. I wanted to feel rock solid acceptance and love in my heart as a child and as an adult. Instead, we hung onto a tenuous connection which at times was numbed by our not wanting to rock the boat in our relationship. So many things remained unsaid and perhaps it’s better this way that hurtful words were not exchanged often.
Because now I realize that even though I said I loved him, I didn’t truly love him as much as I could have for I judged him and he judged me. It’s been almost 2 years since he’s passed and I’ve come to realize that I now can truly say I love him, without judgement which is a sign of my own healing and a sign of his as well (at least I’d like to think so). I learned forgiveness. I learned heart-breaking lessons in love, in compassion and in what it means to love another person for who they are. To see their good and ‘bad’ points (again, a bit of judging whoops) and to accept them for who they truly are and to love them for their whole package.
We say “I love you” often in our house. Much like Aloha, it can be a greeting, a tag onto the good bye when someone walks out the door and the exclamation point after the goodnight kiss at bedtime. Loving my sons is easy for me. I love the whole entire package without exception. I accept them for the wonderful beings they are. So why is it so hard for me to do it with others and alas, even with myself?
I am progressing. I am learning. I am evolving. I am reminding myself when I feel that I don’t like someone or something that I can choose to see the person/situation differently. As much as change has been hard in my life, I am flowing with the changing of my attitude, my observance of others and my newfound ‘a-ha’ in love.
Imagine if we all were to go with the flow of loving who we are ~ flaws and all ~ and loving each other with that same enthusiasm! To strive to love the whole package of our being and not just the pieces we deem good or acceptable. What a wonderful world this would be!
Shine On!
xo
P.S. I love you! xo
Misifusa's Blog 
I too have people in my life I love, but I do not always like them, or more specifically, I do not like some of the things they say or do. Loving the whole package, flaws and all, is a wonderful thing to strive for!.Great post! 🙂
Thank you so much ~ it’s not always easy to love the whole package, that’s why we are all works in progress! ♥ Baby steps! xo
Yes, loving myself is not always easy. But then I suppose it gets easier with time–that there’s a kind of cumulative love effect?! And I suppose it’s the flaws in ourselves and in others we need to love the most–loving the other, the lovable parts, is easy.
Wishing you a weekend full of love.
Hugs from Ecuador,
Kathy
Beautifully said dear Kathy, and my wish returns to you full of love as well! ♥
I can relate (too much) to the statement “…we hung onto a tenuous connection which at times was numbed by our not wanting to rock the boat in our relationship…” In my case it is still hang. Thanks to your sharing (not just today), I’ve been trying break down that wall. Keep up your beautiful work. xoxo
Ah my friend. We know all too well. So learn from my mistakes, bridge the gap, live with love in your heart, mind and soul. Accept what you may find difficult and know that where love is, love grows, love shines and love endures. Just BE LOVE and it will all be well worth it. xoxo
My little mantra in the car today… It takes as much energy to hug as it does to push away, so just hug
Oh yes, ML, JUST HUG! ♥♥♥
P.S. You made my day with your special comment. Thank you. Heartfelt hugs to you ♥
Much love to you hon- you always show it to others, may it be returned a thousandfold!
My gratitude and love to you. xoxo
Aw, this is a very sweet and lovely post. 😀 I’m about to get into a bikini on a public beach, so loving my body and going with the flow is a very good idea. 🙂
Oh la la…enjoy the bikini weather! 🙂
I believe that we all judge…it’s human nature. It’s what we do with our judgements, the action that follows the thought, that can make all the difference. Do we alienate? Do we become jealous or insulting? Or can we find a balance between our judgements and acceptance….even if we don’t understand the person or the situation at hand? Not an easy thing to do…
How very true indeed Heather. It’s what we DO with them that matters. You are right. ♥
I so understand what you mean! For me, I don’t like being judged. I mean, I am bot broken by it, but if I try with all my heart to be understanding, adjusting and kind to others, I just feel that it is not right when they judge me. I never do it back, but I feel that it is not right, if you know what I mean. And then I feel that I don’t quite like them, even if I love them, if that makes sense…..
I completely understand what you are saying Line…this is so true my friend. xoxo
I found this comes pretty naturally when I accept and integrate these parts of myself. ♡ Great post 🙂
Thank you ~ you are so right Laurie! xo