How to Survive Bad News


Bad news.  Good news.  Still news, but boy can any type of sudden news cause a huge blip in life!  Stop for a moment and imagine getting good news ~ feel the euphoria of it, bathe in the sunshine warmth of happiness that perfumes the air.  You feel good, right?  High, happy and you are smiling.

Now imagine getting bad news, feel the drop in your stomach, the curdling of worry, the intense whirring in your head, the prickling of tears in your eyes and the wallowing that often accompanies sadness.  Tears, fears and stress abounds.

Highs and lows.  They come into our lives.   We are like a radar blip in the universe ~ sometimes our blips are high and sometimes they are low.  Sure I’ve heard all the cliches about how the pendulum swings and you appreciate the highs by experiencing the lows.  Nobody gets a smooth ride and without that high/low thing, we wouldn’t appreciate the experiences of life.  I’m not advocating a boring straight line of life without highs and lows.  Far from it as I’ve experienced them both and I’ve come to the conclusion that I want to go with the flow, appreciate the highs and the lows for what they are, for what they teach us about ourselves and each other and all the amazing insight we gain from them.

But this morning, looking back at the last few days with the highs and lows I’ve experienced due to a lab error on my tumor markers for breast cancer, Lab Error ~ click here for post I can’t help but wonder how it is I am so easily changed by a few words.  Do you know what I mean?  With the retesting of my over normal numbers (read abnormal), I plunged myself into sadness, took a whole day for ‘me’ and even though I tried to continue to be optimistic, I confess I did allow myself a little pity party.  I’m only human.

And then, last night, when the reality that my numbers are back on track, I was happy ~ until I started my monkey mind stinking thinking that perhaps I need a 3rd test to rule out that the ‘normal’ numbers were not a fluke and somehow another lab error.  But then, my brain reminded me that I was fasting the 2nd time and therefore had no other extenuating factors to mar the tests so I can be assured that all is well.

But do you see what I mean?  A little bad or good news and I am like a swing ~ sad or happy.  It was my dear friend Laurie over at Lauriesnotes ~ click here  who with her infinite wisdom reminded me of what I had forgotten.  A lesson which I know, but I had misplaced ~ one that I had to share with you.

Wherever you find yourself today, remember there is always calm…No need to stop the monkey mind…just find a little whisper underneath…that it is ok no matter what…not sick or well….”

And in the a-ha moment that followed my reading her heartfelt comment, the clarity of the lesson astounded me and for that I am truly grateful ~Thank you Laurie! ♥  No matter the results, I knew I would be ok because that is my only option, to be ok.  To continue to strive to inspire myself, you and anyone else who needs a friend.  Cancer patients, survivors, thrivers, anyone who needs a hand to hold.  I will be there for you ~ and I will be there for myself ~ and you will be there for me as well.  It wouldn’t have been easy, I wouldn’t have been thrilled to have to deal with the huge pain in the neck (and other places) called cancer, I would have fought (and won, again!) and I would have learned whatever life lesson was ahead.

But this life lesson, this one that Laurie’s reminded us of, is one that I tuck away in my heart.  It’s the peace within, the go with the flow, it’s the ‘it’s all ok’ whisper that when we are peaceful, we can hear and obey.  My heartfelt thanks for listening to your hearts, to my heart and for connecting with me.  We are a mighty community ~ a life force of beauty.

Thanks for connecting with me. 

♥ I HEARTily appreciate you! ♥

Shine On!


25 thoughts on “How to Survive Bad News

  1. I love your last sentence. “We are a mighty community–a life force of beauty.” So very true. I missed reading your post about the lab error but gee whiz—it is quite understandable that you needed some “me” time. So glad that there was an error and that you were able to see past it all and learn a lesson out of it all. 🙂

  2. Life is always easy, when thing are going well. It’s a lot more difficult to be positive when the bottom falls out. The thing to remember is that we always reset and eventually. We seem to come back to our middle point. Our innate personality seems to be that middle spot. Life can be terrifying and the feeling of helplessness is what makes us feel trapped and terrible. Nowhere to run. No escape, nothing we can do to change what is happening. Out of our control. Makes us crazy and I don’t think that will ever change. It’s difficult, no question about it.

    • How very true ~ it’s easy now that my news is good, but I would find my way eventually if it had been bad because that is my innate personality as you said. I just thought that since we’ve all been through something, it joins us as a community and allows us to help eachother virtually, cyberly which grows love in the world. I think it is losing control which flips us out. I know it does that to me.

  3. Some days are harder than others. Today it’s nice to hear the words from a virtual friend, “It’s the peace within, the go with the flow, it’s the ‘it’s all ok’ whisper that when we are peaceful, we can hear and obey. . . . We are a mighty community ~ a life force of beauty.” My heart is crying today, but your words will help me get through it. Thank you for that.

  4. Beautifully said! and yes sweet Laurie is a beautiful gem isn’t she? I simply adore her poems! 🙂 I actually get little tired of people telling me that when you are spiritual you are supposed to be this super calm person, and never show any sign of worry or fear. That is not true, at least not for me, because I am still human, I am not pure soul. And I know what happens when we don’t let ourselves feel all feelings, no matter what they are. It is important to acknowledge our feelings, our emotions, and not judge ourselves for having them, letting them come out is healing, and only by letting them come out can we let them go. I always acknowledge all my feelings……”oh I am feeling angry, why is that? Oh, yes, this person said something that was not true, good you be angry! I understand that, anyone would be, stamp your feet little bit, yes that’s it! That person was not right! Stamp again! Good girl! Feeling better? Good! Let’s go out and watch a nice fairy movie and have a cup of tea! 🙂 “

  5. Reminds me of David Kanigan’s post today…which I see you read. It’s not easy is it Yvonne, but it’s a battle worth fighting and a war worth winning…finding that inner calm and peace of mind takes more strength than dueling with our demons…and though I know you are one hell of a strong woman…sometimes those little devils sneak in and bite our ankles…we scream and kick and cry because sometimes we do feel like giving into the little ankle biters…and that’s okay…because if we don’t do it on our own, ones we love will step in and salve our wounds with a little love and bandage them with the gentle reminder that we can beat the little devils by not feeding them. So, here’s to starving the dark and feeding the light…something you do every day for so many…so hearing Laurie stepped in and took that devil’s food cake out of your hand and replaced it with angel food cake (yes…corny I know) is no surprise…xoxoxo

  6. Brilliant — and filled with love for self. Lovely.

    Years ago, I had a lump in my breast that had to be removed. My then boyfriend said, “Whatever it is, we will deal with it. Knowing what it is makes it easier.”

    It was benign, but in between the finding of it and the removal and the test results coming back, I found his calm reassurance very very loving.

    Thanks for this today. I’m off to visit Laurie and DAvid Kanigan.

  7. I love how you said “finding the it’s all okay whisper..” I think it isn’t even necessary to try too hard to be peaceful.. Really all we have to do is find a little quiet space in all of it so we can hear what is true.. I still have parts that are noisy and not very peaceful,. but I love them as they are. 🙂

  8. “No matter how dark, the hand always knows the way to the mouth.”
    “Even when we can’t see, we know how to feed ourselves. Even when the way isn’t clear, the heart still pumps. Even when afraid, the air of everything enters and leaves the lungs. Even when the clouds grow thick, the sun still pours it’s light earthward.” from Mark Nepo’s “The Book of Awakening”

  9. Yes, even when we get good news there’s always that little bit of worry sneaking in that maybe it’s wrong somehow. Finding one’s inner calm is indeed the best way to deal with both the highs and lows. I’m glad all is well with your lab tests!

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