Is It Your Time?

6012109_I recently met a man who reminded me to change my way of thinking.  He repeated to me a phrase that my Mom has said to me so many times beforehand, especially since my Dad passed away.  He said smiling to me, “when it’s your time, it’s your time.”  We were walking through my yard during a big thunderstorm and he was carrying a floral umbrella that he had gotten out of his car.  When I giggled at the flowers, he smilingly told me that his wife had put it in the car for him.

As we walked to the backyard, lighting was popping around us.  Being short and in a raincoat with rubber flip flops, I felt fairly safe.  I mean, he’d be struck before me! (Just Kidding).  But it was his easy gait and manner that had me so enthralled.  He wasn’t being macho, quite the opposite.  He began to tell me how just last November, his 11 year old son passed away.  His family was devastated.  It was in the middle of a Nor’Easter.  The National Guard was at his house, just after Hurricane Sandy, trying to dig them out of the snowbanks in order to save his son, but to no avail.

As I stood there in the lightning storm listening to him, I was overwrought with sadness for him, for his wife and his children.  His happy demeanor belied what they had endured.  He said that what has brought him peace was that ‘when it’s your time, it’s your time’ and that now his son wasn’t suffering anymore.  He related that his wife was having a hard time still and that he was trying very hard to help her.  He said it was hard as there’s a big hole in their lives now and they are just trying to pick up the pieces.  Their son who passed away had special needs and had required 24 hr care.  Their lives had been built around him and their other children (including his twin brother).

I was speechless.  His calm demeanor, his peace within, all radiated around him and he had no idea how much his story affected me.

We were in my backyard because I had him redo the pond in the back of our house for my hubby as a surprise wedding anniversary gift.  You see, years ago, the pond was uprooted and over time vines grew over it.  As much as it was beautiful when it was at its peak of splendor, it now was looking downtrodden, unloved and neglected.  Sometimes that’s how we look when we don’t take care of ourselves either….but that’s for another post, another day.

When my Dad died, that same phrase gave my Mom much comfort as well for there was nothing more we could have done for him.  He had fought, we had tried everything known to man, but ‘when it’s your time, it’s your time,’ ~ a mantra that her family had used time and time again.  I believe that there’s something simple in that thinking, simple, calming and perhaps allows us to regain the bit of control over our own lives.

Believing that ‘when it’s your time, it’s your time,’  you allow the control to slip and you can enjoy the time you have left on this earth.  Don’t you think?  At least for me, this way of thinking allows a freedom of sorts.  Mom’s idea that you’re dealt your ‘death date’ and that’s it makes me feel freedom to be, to do, and to enjoy without worrying about how much time I have left.  If it’s all written out beforehand by God/Universe then WOWZA, I’m going to party like it’s 1999 (oh wait, I already did that!)

But you know what I mean?

What do you think about this?  Do you feel that it’s already written the day you’ll die or is it something you can control?  Is it something that we can even control with our choices or the choices of those around us?  I know that this could be a firestorm of a post, but I freely open it up to you all.

For me, whatever it is, I  am going to enjoy today, this moment, this PRESENT of PRESENCE because right now, that’s all I have, all I can wittingly control and I choose to be happy, feel and give love and submerse myself in the gratitude of this happy moment!

What do you think?

Shine On!


23 thoughts on “Is It Your Time?

  1. I try so hard to appreciate the ‘every day’ stuff. Just sitting at a local baseball game, I’ll stop to appreciate the sights and sounds and remind myself that THIS is what it’s all about. The joy of now.

  2. Thank you for the touching and thought-provoking post. I think NOW is my time. The only time I’ve got. If I’m wise, I’ll celebrate and be grateful for the miracle of NOW and squeeze every bit of life out of NOW that I can. There will come a time when my heart will beat no more, but until then, NOW is enough. I love this earthly adventure so much that I also look forward to experiencing what comes next. If a drop of water can transform again and again into snow, ice, mist, steam, clouds, and part of mighty rivers and oceans, I believe that I have nothing too worry about when my physical body has served its purpose and stops breathing when it’s time.

  3. This is a lovely post, and I know what this gentleman is talking about. I don’t like to ‘believe’ things. I observe and when I experience something as a truth, then I ‘know’. That’s just my way of being in the world. Over time, I have observed that I have no control over anything. And I know that my time of death is fixed. I wrote an article about the death instinct that when you have time, you might want to read. I did some research after my son died, because I was at loss, knowing that everything in my mind was just beliefs given to me by others. I focussed on all my experiences and that of others and saw some very deep truths about life. Here’s the link. Enjoy!

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