An Open Letter From Mom

To My Dearest Family,

It’s 5am and I’m up ~ you’d think that I’d want to sleep in especially on Mother’s Day, but not me.  It’s the perfect day for me to arise extra early and to just enjoy the peace and satisfaction that being a Mom has brought to me.  As I walked around the still house this morning, I quietly snuck into your rooms, fixed your blankets and gently kissed your sweet, sleeping faces.  I stood for a moment, staring at each of you, thinking how blessed I am to have you here with me.  For you see, I never thought I wanted to be a mom because my childhood wasn’t perfect and I didn’t think I’d be strong enough to be a good Mom.  It’s a shameful secret that I’ve carried for years in my heart.  Even when your Dad and I decided to become parents, I feared my dysfunctional past would affect you.

But, my love for your Dad made me believe in myself and we decided to try and God blessed us almost immediately with one son, soon followed by our second.

As I get my coffee and sit quietly in the family room, I look around at the soccer stuff piled in the corner and I smile.  Normally it would aggravate me to have so much all over, but nothing can change my gratitude today for it means that you are physically able to play sports, you are learning about being a part of a team and as a family, we are well enough to participate in your lives.  Your schoolbooks on the counter make me proud of all you’ve accomplished academically as well.  The emptied garbage can reminds me of how responsible you are and how proud I am that we work together as a family.

I look outside and I am reminded of days gone by with the swingset in the yard ~ how many happy moments did we spend with you!  Hearing your squeals of delight and demands of  “Push me higher!’ arise from my memory.  Time has flown by my dear sons.  It used to be that I carried you from place to place.  Scooping you up into my arms to tickle you or smother your faces with kisses.  Now I lay my head on your shoulders when we hug.  No matter how tall you get, you are still my precious little boys.

Today we will gather together and I will enjoy every blessed moment as you give me your special handmade cards with your heartfelt messages.  Knowing me, I will cry as usual and you will all laugh at me for being so sentimental ~ and I will smile through my tears ~ grateful for your loving embraces.  For you see, it’s all I’ve ever wanted although it’s taken me such a long time to realize it.

I only ever wanted to be a good Mom to you.

But it is to both of you,  to all of you (hubby included), to whom the gratitude belongs ~ to whom I should thank from my heart.

For in being your Mom, I am healed.  Your love and trust in me, made me a better person than I can even have hoped to be.  With your childhoods, I was able to heal my own.  For every happy hug you unconditionally gave me, a little piece of my heart healed and I felt loved as I gave love unconditionally.

Being your Mom allowed me to correct the past and to forge a perfect childhood for you ~ and for me.  That gift of being present with you was indeed a gift to myself as well.

Last night I thanked your Dad for making me a Mom and for believing in me.  I thanked him for helping me to raise our 2 incredible sons for whom we are so grateful and so proud.  You are 99% angels and 1% imps which is the perfect of combinations!

I am blessed to have given birth to you both and it is my pleasure to be blessed by you in my life.  It is you who made me a Mom and made this facet of my life so magical.  Every scrape, every boo boo that I kissed away, every triumph, and every single moment with you has been priceless to me.

So even though it’s Mother’s Day and it’ supposed to be all about the Moms ~ today it’s really about You ~ My Family!  For without a family, there would be no need for a Mom.

You Complete Me!

I Love You All!

Shine On!

xo

 

Daily Prompt: Hi, Mom! Today is Mother’s Day in the United States. Wherever in the world you are, write your mother a letter. Photographers, share a photo that says mothering. http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/05/12/daily-prompt-mom/