Really knowing how to love is essential to really being happy…
In loving relationships, be it marriage, dating, friendship or familial, the essential ingredient to keeping the relationship thriving is that both people are happy. Don’t you agree? But when one partner, friend, spouse, person, is unhappy, the seesaw in the relationship begins to tip and thus ensues a balancing act and a scramble to either fix the seesaw so that both parties are happy or to simply get off of the seesaw and dissolve the relationship. Does it sound easy? Nah, you know it’s not.
But we balance that seesaw daily when we’re married or in a relationship. We give and take because we love our partner. Some days we give more and some days we take more, but the bottom line is that this is a relationship between 2 people and outsiders need not apply.
Now let me just stop here and tell you that I’m happily married to my husband and we are just short of celebrating our our 19th wedding anniversary. I want to clear that up before a friend reading my blog fears the worst. Calm down dears, nothing here but a little love lesson.
When we toss around the word love in marriage, it encompasses so much more than we realize. Love isn’t always that passionate french kissing of our youth and first dates ~ you remember those? The days when you could kiss for hours because everything about him/her was so new! It was like tasting chocolate for the first time ~ you wanted more and more.
But then as time goes on, sometimes the passion fizzles a bit, we begin to disconnect with each other, life gets in the way, work takes over, children arrive and your free time to just enjoy your other half becomes non-existent ~ there is always something that needs to be done, a child who needs attention, a house that needs to be cleaned, bills that need to be paid, work that needs attending and that connection between the two of you gets swallowed up into the abyss of a fast-paced life called family.
Has this happened to you? I think it happens to all of us once in awhile. The key here is to realize it and reconnect. But the reason I chose the card above is that I wanted to remind you and myself that we are the owners of our own happiness. It’s not our spouse/partner’s responsibility to make us happy. That’s OUR responsibility. Just because we’re in love (or like) doesn’t mean that we can pass the baton of happiness over to our other half and put him/her in charge of making us happy. No matter with whom we’re partnering, we are responsible for ourselves.
Does that make sense? Love and happiness go hand in hand like all good relationships do ~ but the key is to hang onto your happiness and not give that job away ~ this is your life, this is your happiness and this is your love. Life begins with self-love and once you’ve got that, happiness steps up and you’ve got it made!
So true hon!
In my experience happiness has been a welcome by-product of love. If love is my goal, then one day I realize that I’m happy. May your day be full of love and happiness!
Thank you ~ may you always have love and happiness in your life!
Thanks for sharing. Yes, it makes perfect sense! I remember as a heartbroken teenager my mother telling me just what you said: we are the owners of our own happiness. My mother is brilliant and has shaped my thinking in such positive and healthy ways. Thanks, Mom. And, thanks Yvonne!
Oh I’m honored by your sweet comment! xo
Brilliantly put. You are so right. Our happiness is our responsibility and, making it someone else’s, is going to make the relationship difficult. Congrats on 19 years!
Oh thank you! 🙂
Lovely post! Congratulations on 19 happy years! Peace, love and blessings. Tammy
Thanks Tammy! You are so sweet! Hugs to you! 🙂
I agree that it is a great post! There is a lot of give and take in a relationship.Congrats on 19 yrs ♥
Oh thank you! I appreciate you! ❤ Please tell me how you make your hearts?
I appreciate you too. As far as the hearts if you hold down the alt key and at the same time the number 3 key it makes a heart like this ♥
I keep trying but mine won’t work. Thanks anyway!
One thing I thought of is that I use the number key 3 that is on the right hand side with the other numbers. If you use the numbers above the letters it doesn’t work on mine. Just a thought.
Big Big Smile on my face! Thank you! xoxo
So true! We can’t put all the responsibility for our happiness in the hands of our spouses.
I agree! Thanks for stopping by and commenting! 🙂
Thank you! 🙂
Thank you! ♥
Well said. We should not assign our happiness for someone else to provide for us. We need to provide it to ourselves. It would not be fair to the other party. One of the things that does make us happy is when the object of our affection (love) is happy.
How true! I’d just like us all to find our happiness and soar! ♥
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I think your post makes a lot of sense and I’m sure many can relate to how relationships need to be reignited after a while. Our happiness though is ultimately our own responsibility. 🙂
Exactly! Thanks Carolyn! I love that you understand! !♥♥♥
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