Pawprints in my Heart

70727825_

Many people will walk in and out of your life,
but only true friends leave footprints in your heart.

~Eleanor Roosevelt

We have returned home without our darling Chessie Cat.  My heart is breaking and I am so sad.  It was an honor for us to have held this sweet kitty soul in our lives for almost 17 years and it was a blessing to be there when she passed as well.  We wrapped her in the blanket that she has been sitting on for the past week on the couch, which happens to be my husband’s and we also wrapped her in my favorite nighttime sweater ~ snuggled in our love and our smells.

I couldn’t bear to bring home an empty cat carrier, even though she has one from MIL which has her name on it.  So we wrapped her in the blankies and just drove slowly.  I think she enjoyed being able to see out of the windows and feeling the sunshine on her face.  She was actively snuggling into my arms, but keeping her head up, watching the world go by and surely wondering if I had lost my mind since she was outside, riding in the car without being in her carrier.  She never uttered a peep, but leaned her head next to mine and made sure her face was to the warm sunshine.

I think she knew and being her brave, constant angelic self, she continued to hold our gazes.  I held her while she leaned toward my hubby every time he stopped petting her.  She wanted us to know that she was there with us ~ and we wanted her to know that we were there for her as well.

I am bereft now ~ saddened by losing my kitty angel, but I am snuggling our other kitty Tiffy as much as she’ll let me.  I wonder what she is thinking as her sissy is now not here.  I know she knew that Chessie was sick, but watching her today, I don’t see her mourning as much as me.  Perhaps it is easier in the animal world, they know that life goes on and she accepts that Chessie is now in kitty Heaven, feeling healthy and happy.

So perhaps that’s what I have to do as well ~ change my thoughts and my perspective.  Be grateful for the time we’ve enjoyed Chessie’s presence and now be grateful in knowing that she is healthy and happy in Heaven, continuing to watch over me in a different form.  I just have to get my mind around that she isn’t here to purr next to me, but that she’s here in spirit, purring me into health.

Thanks for sharing this time with me throughout the last few posts.  Our lives have peaks and valleys in which we travel ~ connecting with others, reading your comments, being grateful for the time you’ve taken to send a heartfelt comment, has helped me.  Please know how thankful I am for all of you.

Big Hugs ~ Shine On!

xo

Advertisements

46 thoughts on “Pawprints in my Heart

  1. I am so sorry to read of your loss. I experienced something similar one year ago with my 16 year old Aussie. I wrote alot about him, which helped my grief. And I also got help from a wonderful site called http://www.petloss.com. Every Monday night there is a candlelight vigil held for the pets that have crossed the Rainbow Bridge. It’s a beautiful service. Here is a link if it interests you.
    Peace to you and your family.

    • Oh thank you ~ I would love to be there ~ it would make my heart feel better as it is just breaking now. I know she is better, but I am so saddened by all. Thank you so much for helping me. Big hugs. So sorry for your loss as well xo

  2. My heart is with you. Your description of the drive to the vet was very touching…you were all so present and connected. Please, be with your sadness. It is okay – in fact, so important – to grieve and really feel your loss. In good time your perspective will change and the pain will loosen it’s grip on you. May you find all the beautiful ways to keep Chessie alive in your life – indeed, she will always be with you. Sending a big virtual hug to you today.

  3. Your loving spirit shines through this post. You were blessed to have Chessie, and Chessie was blessed to have you. What a beautiful connection. Prayers for your hurting heart.

  4. My heart is so sad for you. I’m so sorry for your loss and I know that the euthanasia decision is such a heartrending one. I know your presence both in the car and at the vet calmed Chessie and let her know that she was being cared for and loved. She was so very blessed to have had you to care for her and love her all those years. Allow yourself to feel all the feelings you’re having. I read once that love doesn’t end with death– that is the beauty and power of love. So true. Your love for Chessie was deep and profound and so your grief of her will be deep and profound. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

    • Oh Gail, I know you understand so well. So happy that Bigfoot is ok for now. 19 is amazing! I appreciate your sweet understanding and comment. I’ve learned time heals, but we never forget. I had to be there with her ~ just like she was always there for me. It was a hard decision, but I loved her too much to allow any suffering in her life. xo

  5. I am so very sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is like losing a family member. She knew how much you loved her. I hope you can find some sort of comfort in that.

  6. I’m so sad for you. This is just heartbreaking, I know. What a lovely life she had, spending it with you. Let yourself feel the grief. There is no way around it. Hugs to you and your family.

  7. Out of such sadness do we need to gain the perspective of moving on with life. A couple of months back, I had mused on this aspect in a post titled ” The other side of Sadness”.

    Shakti

    • Shakti ~ Thanks for sharing ~ I read your beautiful post back in February ~ it is hard to get used to not having my dad nor my cat here with me. I just keep taking it one step at a time. I appreciate your kindness. xo

  8. My prayers of comfort are with you…her love will remain with you and what Louise said is so true…you will always feel her paw prints in your heart – that does say it all.

  9. I’m so sorry that you’re having to experience this sadness right now… But you did the kindest, sweetest, most loving thing you could have possibly done for this little angel. And of course, she’ll always be around. That’s how love is.

  10. Pingback: Every precious morning | Misifusa's Blog

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s