It’s December 2nd and I’m having a tough time getting into the holiday spirit this year which is so very unlike me! I am the gal who begins decorating the minute we leave my inlaws house after Thanksgiving dinner! My enthusiasm begins immediately as I scurry to the basement to begin to bring up all of the holiday paraphernalia ~ an old Santa hat on my head, dancing around, singing off-key Christmas tunes by myself, in utter glee that my favorite season has finally begun! My family is used to me doing this and the boys/hubby just laugh because they know my joy knows no bounds when it comes to Christmas.
For I STILL BELIEVE!
But this year, it’s different and I’m not sure the reason for it…but I will say, that I don’t like it! Perhaps it’s the sadness that envelopes my family occasionally, knowing that this will be our first Christmas without my Dad. Perhaps it’s having endured 3 surgeries thus far this year and in anticipation of my next one on December 10th ~ knowing that I’ll be laid up until almost Christmas Eve. Perhaps it’s because our church now sings these new holiday songs which nobody knows and not the tried and true beautiful hymns of my memories during Advent. Perhaps it’s the overload of dealing with the mountains of paperwork and extra responsibility required of me as Executor to Dad’s estate and now taking care of Mom’s affairs as well. Perhaps it’s just me.
I guess it’s another lesson in my life ~ getting a glimpse into the world of those who don’t carry the Christmas Spirit in their hearts. For whatever reason, there are people who don’t find the twinkling of lights, the generosity of spirit and the beauty of a loving heart contagious. It’s not about religion either, as for me, I embrace the holiday spirit no matter if you celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa or any other Holiday as long as you do it with a sprinkling of the Spirit of Love!
I’m trying to conjure up my usual enthusiasm…
I’ve watched a few Christmas specials on tv ~ ELF, Eloise at Christmastime (I’m her in my head as a child, but not in reality!), and even put the dvd of Polar Express on! I’ve got my favorite Fresh Balsam candle burning to make my house smell like my favorite live Christmas tree (which always puts me in the mood). I’ve had Christmas Carols playing on the radio, I’ve put out a few of the elves and Christmas red and greens, but my spirits haven’t come up yet.
This situation plagues me as even when I was diagnosed with cancer, I still had the Christmas Spirit ~ and I was diagnosed on New Year’s Eve, having endured a biopsy which I was assured wasn’t cancer on December 26th, right after I hosted our entire family to Christmas dinner…which I remember, I LOVED because it was our whole family together, smiling, laughing and exchanging thoughtful gifts. It’s the magic in Christmas which I adore…the magic of giving, of receiving and of actually feeling the love in the air! It’s Holiday Spirit ~ when everyone is on their good behavior so that Santa doesn’t think you are naughty!
I’m usually the one who enjoys helping you ~ but perhaps you can help me today.
Surely I’ll find my holiday spirit soon, but in the meantime, please tell me about yours!
Like Auntie Mame, I need a little Christmas now…
Shine On and Enjoy!