Yesterday was a very hard day for my family as my Dad’s situation worsened as the day went on which finally culminated in him being moved to ICU. He wasn’t getting enough oxygen and his veins were unable to be accessed since he was so dehydrated even though he was being given an IV. By 10:30pm at night, we were thinking the worst ~ my Mom, my sister AAngel and me. In a panic, earlier in the day, I called my friend BAngel, sobbing uncontrollably as I told her what was going on. It was so hard for me to stay away from his bedside but I had to for his health as well as my own. I was unable to fathom that I might never see him again alive and was trying to comfort myself in the knowledge that the last time I had seen him, we had chatted amiably for over 2 hours which was so nice. He had come over with my Mom to my house and it was just the 3 of us for awhile. It hadn’t been just the 3 of us talking for a long time.
BAngel spoke to me in the most loving way possible. As she gently explained what I needed to do and changed my way of thinking, I felt an increase in peaceful thoughts permeate my being, knowing that I had no control over the situation and that I just needed to be supportive to everyone involved ~ be the base camp for AAngel and my Mom ~ and send loving thoughts to my Dad. When I allowed her sage wisdom to stay in my heart and mind, I was able to function, but when I allowed myself to succumb to fear and ego, I became a blubbering mess.
Last night when I laid my head upon the pillow, I spoke to God/Universe and to my Dad directly. It was an amazing feeling as I felt as if I were speaking to him directly even though I knew he was so sedated that he wasn’t connecting with anyone at all. But spirit to spirit, I believe we communicated. Now you might think it strange for me to feel this way, but I know what I felt and the peace it gave me. I went to sleep knowing that tomorrow would be a new day and hoped that I would not get a phone call during the night from the hospital nor from AAngel.
I happily report today how GRATEFUL I am that I awoke at 5am without having a sad phone call interrupting my sleep. I’ve called the hospital already this morning to hear that he is alert, in grave condition, but there’s hope.
I took a drive yesterday afternoon to get out of the house ~ as I left the house, the skies opened up and we had thunder, lightning and a rainstorm. Suddenly, the sun peaked out and although it was still raining, all of a sudden I saw this beautiful rainbow. So I followed it until I could find a safe place to park and take a picture. Growing up my Mom would call a sunny rainstorm ~ the Devil is beating his wife ~ I have no idea what that means…but we’ve always said it.
Scientifically, I know why we had the rainbow, but in my heart, I believe it was my Gift from God ~ a Gift of Faith, Love and Understanding. So I’ve nicknamed that rainbow Daddy’s Rainbow today…and for Father’s Day it will be his card. Prayers said, fingers crossed and giving the situation up to God/Universe.
Thanks for all of your prayers, comforting messages and thoughts.
I appreciate you all!